Always
by Curiosity Killed the Becks
Summary: It is said that love is the most powerful form of magic. And, when strong enough, its power can last beyond the grave. Severus' love for Lily has not died with him; instead, it has given birth to a second chance for him. A new path has been laid...
1. Chapter 1

_"Always."_

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><p><em>With his neck burning in agony as scarlet blood poured from the wound, the burning venom rushing through his veins, the once Potions Master found it difficult to focus as Harry Potter kneeled beside him. His mind churned desperately in clouded thoughts as he struggled to complete the task that Dumbledore had left him with, but with a massive effort, the memories that revealed the truth were in Potter's hands. Harry did not yet understand the significance of the silvery substance that he held in the tiny vial, but he would soon. <em>

_And then, without any words of thanks, or any consideration for the man who lay dying beside him, Potter turned away from him. No, no, Lily's eyes were escaping. He could not die without seeing the last remnants of her – without that singular memory, Hell would be unbearable. It was just like a Potter to deny him that parting gift. Severus could not die without seeing her eyes. _

"_Look…" he rasped painfully, reaching out feebly for Harry's arm, "At… Me…" Abruptly, bright green eyes met his own, and though they were filled with confusion and surprise, he could see Lily Evans in them. He took solace in this last sight, and as his vision disappeared, he thought of nothing but the woman he had sacrificed everything for. Once Severus Snape had passed, Harry stood and with his companions at his heels, left the Shrieking Shack and continued onto the castle, unprepared for the information he would soon learn.  
><em>

**Death is only the next adventure. **

Immediately, Severus's ears were filled with a soft whispering, like that of children murmuring beneath their breaths. Against his closed eyelids, a warm light shone red, but he dared not open them. Was this Hell? And if it was, would the agony that was ominously absent begin once he had surveyed his surroundings?

He didn't want to find out.

Severus shifted, relying on his other four senses to gather information of his environment. Warm air was all around him - but it was comfortably warm; nothing at all like the fires of Hell. He could feel warn, soft fabric clothing him, and the familiar weight pulling at his neck told him that a cloak was clasped at his collarbone. There was a hard stool beneath him, and a rather rickety one at that. The air held the faintest traces of pumpkin juice, along with the scent of burning wood. His hair was pressed down on his scalp, limp strands framing his unattractive features, and there was a heavy hat settled on his head. It was extremely oversized; the brim hung down past his eyebrows.

_If the memories you hold in your head are truly a good judge of your character, I believe that we've met before, Severus.  
><em>  
>For a moment, he was only able to sit in silent shock. That was the very same voice he remembered hearing as an eleven year old in 1971: it was the Sorting Hat of Hogwarts. Dots were connected in his mind, and he realized that he was not in Hell at all. No, he was sitting in the Great Hall. He was not dead. Tentatively, he opened his eyes, and he saw the familiar room that he had visited three times daily for the past decade. This couldn't be real. It wasn't real at all. Frantically, his eyes scanned the Gryffindor table, looking for the redhead he had spent his entire life loving.<p>

And there, third person on the right, sat Lily Evans Potter. But she wasn't Mrs. Potter, not yet. He saw that she too was eleven, and that she was watching him with a small smile on her young features. A shock went through him, and he trembled on the rickety stool, causing it to scrape softly against the stone dais.

_I assure you, this is completely real. _said the hat with a tone that was brushed with amusement, yet Snape could not muster up the strength to respond. His mouth had gone dry, and his jaw was slightly slack with astonishment. _I see that you're going to require more thinking than the last time. Slytherin, although correct for you, did not lead you down a very pleasant path, due to your choices. I assume that you would prefer not to make these choices again?_

After he was finally able to process what the hat had said, Severus was quick to respond – perhaps too quick. The words came spilling out of his mouth with an awkward stammer. "I – I, yes. Don't place me in Slytherin."

_Very well, Mr. Snape. That's very wise of you. Perhaps Ravenclaw is the best place for you? _For a fraction of a second, Severus very nearly agreed with the hat's placement. His intellect would render him well suited for the house of Ravenclaw, but he realized that it would not place him closer to Lily. Potter was in Gryffindor, and he had won her heart. Placing himself in Ravenclaw would not guarantee him Lily Evans.

"No," he said firmly, "I want Gryffindor."

_Deciding your house based on the possibility of gaining this girl's affection, are you? Are you sure that this is the path you wish to take, Severus?_

"Yes. This is what I want." Although he dared not voice this allowed, he included one thought for the hat, as to solidify his choice. _I would do anything for her._

_Very well then, Severus. I hope your choice serves you well. _And without a moment's delay, the hat left forth a cry that nearly deafened him. "GRYFFINDOR!" The house of red and gold began cheering loudly, welcoming their newest addition with pride. The deputy Headmisstress lifted the dusty old hat off of his head, and Snape leapt down from the stool with a smirk pulling at his thin lips. He looked only at Lily, and her sweet features were smiling at him as he strode towards her. He reached the table just as the next person was settling the hat on their head, and he slid into a seat next to the woman he had been dreaming about for the past thirty years. This was certainly the correct choice; nothing could spoil this but Potter -

"What happened to being a Slytherin, Snape? You change your mind once you saw Lily in Gryffindor?"

Severus looked across the table to see that James Potter was sitting directly across from him, looking rather smug. Sirius Black was sitting on his right, not attempting to conceal his amusement. Immediately anger built up from nearly forty years of a grudge threatened to overpower him, and very like the eleven year old body that he was in, a pink tinge of embarrassment and anger rose to his sallow features. A bark of laughter escaped Sirius, his brown eyes twinkling with mirth, which was only all the more infuriating to Severus.

"I'm sure it wasn't a choice," said Lily with a flat, disapproving tone. "According to the hat, it wasn't our choice at all. The hat decides our house, not us." Her sweet voice swirled around him, filling his ears and lifting a huge burden off of his chest. She was really alive. This truly was the Lily he knew.

"I still don't trust him. He's a sneaky slimy git for wanting to be a part of that house – he's nearly as bad as the rest of my family."

Instinctively, Severus opened his mouth to retort, but a sudden thought kept him from verbally abusing Sirius with his sharp tongue. Things were currently playing out in the same fashion that they had thirty years ago – he was creating an enemy in the Marauders. He was sure that his had been part of why Lily had been driven away from him; she had never outright agreed with him in his hatred of the Sirius and James. Here, having been placed in a different house, he had been given a chance to remedy this. Bending his pride was a very small price if it brought him closer to Lily.

Keeping his fists clenched underneath the table, as if digging his finger nails into his skin would relieve some of his anger, Severus kept quiet until he was able to gain enough control over his emotions to address Sirius. He cleared his throat diplomatically, and then raised his eyes to meet Sirius' gaze.

"I apologize for my behavior on the train, Siruis. It was very rude of me, but I assure you I am not who you think I am. Perhaps…" Here, he swallowed nervously, somewhat hesitant to accept that he was about to follow through with this. "Perhaps, if you were to give me a chance, we could become friends." Both Sirius and James' brows climbed to the high rafted ceiling. Apparently, they were just as shocked as he was.

"The invitation is extended to you as well, James, if you are willing to accept my apology." He tried to smile, but he could tell that it only came out as a pained grimace. Both of the boys kept quiet for a while, presumably trying to reach a decision. Severus took the time he had to assess the situation. If they accepted, he would be able to create a friendship with the three that he could bear to associate himself with (He refused to consider Peter Pettigrew. Something would be done about the treacherous rat.) and he would gain Lily's approval. If they declined his apology, then they would both be marked as arrogant prats in Lily's book, and she would be all the less likely to end up with Potter.

Either way they chose to answer, the odds were in his favor.

"Well…" Said James finally, looking sideways at Sirius, "What's the harm in giving him a chance? Obviously, if he was a real Slytherin, he would be sitting over there with the rest of that lot. But since he's here with us, he can't be that bad." Sirius looked mutinous.

"You don't have to trust me now," Severus said quietly, "But there's no reason to hate me unless I've proven that I cannot be trusted and that I only deserve to be despised." Lily kept completely silent beside him, and he wished that he could see the expression that she was currently wearing. However, he knew that it would not do him well to look away from Sirius. He was trying to earn this boy's trust; not convince him that Lily's opinion controlled everything that he did. While it was true that Lily did lend a large amount of weight to his actions, no one needed to know that.

Just then, the Ravenclaw table behind him erupted in cheers as another student joined their table. The sound provided a needed break in the tension that had surrounded the four, and it seemed to help Sirius make up his mind about the apology Severus had given him.

"Fine," he muttered, tearing his eyes away from Severus' gaze in a glare directed at the table.

James clapped his mate on the back, and grinned cheekily over at Seveus and Lily. "It's good to see that we're all friends now," he said with amusement, and he seemed to enjoy the way that Sirius' glare became even darker. Severus couldn't help but smirk, and as he dared a small glance at Lily, he saw that she was smiling with a look of relief. Here was another correct choice in a single evening, and there were endless possibilities as to what this had changed.

Severus was about to continue the conversation with a word of thanks when he was interrupted by the warm voice of Albus Dumbledore. Every head in the Great Hall swiveled towards their Headmaster as he began to usher in a new term with a customary speech.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! With our sorting complete, the feast shall begin shortly. But before the food arrives, I must share this wisdom with you. The Forbidden Forest is called that for a reason; please, do _not_ enter it unless instructed to do so. Please, do not preform magic in the corridors, elsewise it will be necessary to deduct your house of points. And finally, do try your best to enjoy yourself at Hogwarts – the staff and I wish for you to see this castle as a second home." Here he paused, smiling gently, and then he continued with closing remarks. "I hope you have a wonderful year. And with all of this said, let the feast begin!" He clapped his hands once, and the food appeared at the table as if by magic. The fist years around him gasped with surprise, but Severus remained unfazed by the occurrence.

His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Dumbledore. He was the reason that Severus had died. He was the reason that he had gone through the worst decade of his life. He was the reason that Lily had died. He was the reason that he had to deal with James Potter reincarnated, but he had to watch Lily's eyes so full of hatred. Resentment reared up in him like some ugly beast, and unlike the other students who had turned to their plates, Severus kept his black eyes locked on the Headmaster, his irises glinting in cold fury.

"Sev?" Lily's voice broke the din of chattering students and utensils clashing on dishware, and he felt her hand grasp his arm in concern. As she did, he felt the anger drain from his body. His breath caught in the back of his throat, and for the first time in ten years, he offered a prayer to the God he no longer believed in. _Let this be real. Let this be real._ If he were to wake up in the mooring, again a double agent, again hated, and again alone, it would kill him.

"Yes?" he asked softly, still keeping his eyes locked on Dumbledore. She squeezed his arm gently, and he turned back around to face her. Her red hair was slightly frizzy and disarrayed from the boat ride to the castle, and her bright eyes were filled with excitement.

"Aren't you going to eat?" He smiled at her, slightly humored by her question.

"Yeah," he said, picking up his fork and stabbing at a piece of pheasant. "I am." Severus would worry about Dumbledore later. For now, he only had to enjoy the food, and relish the second chance that he had been given. For the first time in years, he felt hope.

There was a chance that Lily Evans could be his.

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><p><em>Let me know what you think! Please review! <em>


	2. Chapter 2

After a quarter of an hour spent eating the finest that Hogwarts had to offer, Severus could feel himself becoming used to James and Sirius, and did his best to bite back his resentment. What they had done to him didn't exist anywhere except in memory, and it would only do him harm to act on it. He did his best to appear only cautious with them, perhaps slightly afraid of breaking their fragile friendship, and the three Gryffindors around him seemed to accept this. Lily had kept quiet for most of the meal, watching the awkward conversation between the Marauders and their newest edition. James looked to be the most at ease of all of them; if anything, he was enjoying the way that Sirius was struggling to keep his disbelief and frustration locked away.

"Will you be trying out for Quidditch next year, Severus?" asked James, shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes and gravy into his large mouth. Sirius muttered something under his breath that sounded unpleasant, and James elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Severus tried his best to mask his amusement at the low groan of pain that escaped Sirius, but if the grinning features of Potter were anything to judge by, he had not succeed.

"No," he answered cautiously, taking another bite of shepherd's pie as he paused, "I don't think I will be. I've never been an exceptional flyer." James nodded at his answer – if Severus had been asked, he would have said that James was pleased with this. After all, it only meant that he had less competition for a place on the house team.

"And what about you, Lily?" James grinned at her as he asked, and for the first time since getting over the shock of returning to life, Severus felt curious. He and Lily had never talked about Quidditch before. There had never been a reason to. They attended games together, of course, Lily often joining him in the Slytherin stands because he refused to sit with the Gryffindors, but neither of them had ever expressed an interest in playing. Or, perhaps Lily had _wanted_ to, but he had unknowingly quashed the desire out of her.

Thinking back to his previous life, Severus knew that this not only possible, but likely. Lily had been extremely adventurous when it came to the wizarding world; if there was an option, she was likely to explore it.

"I might. I've never flown on a broom before, and I don't know if I'm any good." She looked at James a bit sheepishly – he had been talking mostly of Quidditch the entire evening. Of course, that could have been an attempt to break the ice, but as far as Severus knew, Potter had always been an avid fan.

"What do you mean, you haven't flown before?" he asked, sounding entirely appalled. "What sort of parent doesn't teach their child to fly before coming to Hogwarts?" Lily's face became red with embarrassment. Severus thought of something she had asked her before coming to Hogwarts, and he had answered truly: Non-magical blood did not affect the experience that one would have at Hogwarts. Even if he had not believed this entirely at the time, he did now.

"Potter," he said coolly, finding a balance between remaining on friendly terms with James and defending Lily, "Someone could only be taught to fly if their parents have the means to procure a broomstick for them."

"But even the poorest wizarding families can find a way to get a broomstick! Borrow it from a friend, or something!"

"There is the possibility that her parents did not know that flying broomsticks exist, and even if they were to find one, I'm sure that they wouldn't put Lily on it." Severus glanced back at his plate, waiting for the information to sink in. Surely, Potter wasn't so thickheaded that he wouldn't realize what he meant.

"How do you live in the wizarding world and not know what a broomstick is?" James sounded earnestly shocked and confused. Severus admitted, he had always thought James to be thick, but he had never had such solid proof as this. If he was to survive the next seven years on friendly terms with Potter, he could only hope that he grew out of imbecility, and _quickly. _

"Mate," said Sirius, finally speaking up for the first time since agreeing to give Severus a chance, "You didn't get it. She's muggleborn." As realization stuck James, and he looked at Lily with his face full of chagrin, Sirius smiled ever so slightly. Severus knew that Sirius had always supported blood equality – it was extremely unlikely that he was taking amusement in Lily's heritage. It was more likely that James' lack of observational skills was what he was smiling at.

Severus glanced at Lily, and he saw that her face had only become redder. James was quick to stammer his way into an apology.

"Lily, I had no idea. But – it's not like I have anything against Muggleborns – I just didn't know." Sirius chuckled darkly, as if he felt that this was a form of payback for being forced into a friendship with Severus.

"It's fine," Lily said quickly, as if she wanted to move on from the subject as quickly as possible. It was clear to Severus that even though he had told her that blood purity – or the lack of it – meant nothing at Hogwarts that she was still self-conscious of the fact that she had been born into a Muggle family. She smiled at James quickly, making it clear that she didn't want him to feel badly about the situation. Severus wondered momentarily if he deserved it, but said nothing else.

"Well," James said awkwardly, "I'm sure that once you try flying that you'll like it. It's loads of fun – I've been flying for as long as I can remember, but first years get official lessons in the first weeks of school. If we're lucky, they'll borrow the time from Potions."

"I certainly hope so!" cried Sirius dramatically, "Even though Bellatrix is a complete nut, I'm sure she wasn't kidding when she said Slughorn was a bit off." Horace Slughorn was an eccentric person, but not in a terrible way. Thinking back to his previous years at Hogwarts, Severus recalled that he had an indifferent opinion of the Head of Slytherin. The Slug Club was the only thing that marked him for a Slytherin – if he had not shown his ambition through that, Severus would have been sure that the squat man had been a Hufflepuff. Or, more likely, a Ravenclaw: he could not deny that the man was brilliant when it came to potions.

"I've never liked the idea of potions in general," James paused shortly to stuff more food into his mouth. "There's no point in throwing stuff into a cauldron, waving your wand, and hoping that it comes out right." That was very typical of a Potter – Severus supposed that Harry's opinions on potions had been hereditary.

"Who's Bellatrix?" asked Lily, and Severus opened his mouth to respond when he remembered that he wasn't supposed to have any clue who she was. As of now, she would have already left Hogwarts, but she had been insane from the very beginning. Severus had a feeling that it was not all due to inbreeding; Andromeda and Narcissa had turned out fine. Although her mind had been twisted from the beginning, it had taken several years for her appearance to catch up. Bellatrix had been rather attractive before Askaban, never pretty, but her dark features had been rather handsome. She hadn't gained the features of an insane woman until she had spent thirteen years locked away.

Sirius looked at Severus oddly – he had seen that he had nearly answered for him. "She's my cousin," he said offhandedly to Lily, keeping his brown eyes on Severus. "Do you know her, Snape?"

This could end very badly. He knew of the dangers that a Time Turner could produce; there was no telling what could go wrong if he gave the wrong answer. Now that the shock of his arrival was finally beginning to wear off, the consequences of his actions seemed to be a hundred times heavier. It was true; the choices he made now could have a very large impact on the future. But Severus was not naïve enough to believe that it all could be good. Nothing ever worked as planned, and even with a lifetime's worth of mistakes and memories stored away in his head, there was no guarantee that this would end the way he wanted it to. He had already changed so much with the simple decision of switching houses – perhaps the mistakes he had made earlier and the lessons he had learned had been rendered useless.

"No, I don't." he spluttered, trying to work his way through the situation with too little time to discover the best solution, "I just thought that I recognized the name."

"Maybe you do," Sirius pressed, sensing Severus' anxiety, "I have other cousins. Have you met any of them?"

It was going to take far longer to create a friendship with Sirius, he knew that. Sirius had always held grudges longer, and he was the only member of the Marauders who had outright tried to kill him. James had had the decency to warn Severus before he had gotten harmed by the werewolf, but Sirius' true character had been revealed. Getting caught in a lie wasn't going to make Sirius more amiable.

"I don't think so," he said cautiously, "I don't recognize the surname Black, and I've never met anyone who's told me they're related to a Black."

"Right." Said Sirius flatly – it sounded as if he didn't believe him. Involuntarily, he raised barriers around his mind; using Occlumency as a defense was now second nature. Of course, it was impossible that eleven year-old Sirius Black knew Legilimency. In all likelihood, Sirius just didn't want to believe anything that came from Severus' mouth.

"Until I met you, I'd only heard of Blacks because my family's always getting invitations to their fancy parties. My mum's told me that your family is fond of overdoing things. And I've never heard of a Snape – I doubt he's heard of you." James, managing to pause long enough between eating and drinking to say something, found it necessary to jump in and rescue Severus. Initially, the once Slytherin recoiled: he didn't need anyone to step in and save him. He could handle himself. But, as soon as the words had left James' mouth, Sirius seemed to relax a bit. He still looked incredibly agitated, but he changed his gaze from Severus' face towards his plate. And, a small part of him felt a rare emotion: gratitude.

Although his assistance had been unnecessary, it had ended the conversation before Severus had slipped. No doubt, it had placed his already strained relationship with Sirius under more tension, but it had stopped things from escalating. But he wasn't about to let James know he was thankful – that would only enlarge his already enormous head, and it would only put Sirius in a darker mood.

And now, the group sat in silence. The four of them ate quietly, James scraping his plate clean then repilling it with food. It was disgusting to eat that much food in one sitting, and Severus had no wish of duplicating the act. As he finished of his last piece of pheasant, he laid his fork and knife down. He was still a little hungry, but it was never healthy for one to eat until they were full.

Lily had already stopped eating, but instead of trying to continue the conversation, she was looking around the Great Hall. No doubt, her eyes were filled with curiosity and wonder – she had been excited about Hogwarts years before she had received her acceptance letter. Severus watched her for a moment, noting the way her thin hair fell loosely over her shoulders. It hadn't thickened up until third year, but he found it attractive nonetheless. It was that familiar shade of red-brown that he had adored since he had first laid eyes on her. His eyes lingered on her for a few seconds longer than they should have: the last thing he wanted to do was reveal his weakness to Sirius.

Severus finally tore his eyes from Lily, and in her absence, began scanning up and down the table for familiar faces. Although most people only tugged at his memory namelessly, there were a few that he did recognize. There was Frank Longbottom – and sitting only a few places from him was the future Mrs. Longbottom. Alice's dark hair tumbled in curls down to her shoulders: perhaps that was why she had chosen to chop most of it off in the future.

He saw the Prewett twins; Fabian and Gideon were currently roaring with laughter hardly ten feet away from him. Out of all of the deaths he had been responsible for as a Death Eater, those were the two that he regretted the most - aside from Lily's, of course. It had taken a total of five Death Eaters to bring them both down, and they had both fought like true Gryffindors through to the end. They were seventh years now, at the highly annoying age of seventeen. That was the age that most teenagers believed that they owned the world, and acted , who was five years their senior, would not be here. Neither would her husband, Arthur Weasley. By now, they were caring for their first child.

"Sirius!" a bright, high voice called over the din of the Great Hall, and the four of them turned towards the source of the sound. There was another girl Severus thought he recognized; but he couldn't quite recall her name. She was walking towards them at a fast pace, and he noticed that her robes were a bit too big for her. The nameless girl was grinning widely, presumably at Black, and Severus decided that she was a first year. She didn't look like she had the confidence that a second year would, and the glee was too fresh on her face to have been here before. Trailing behind her was the mousey Mary McDonald, and she looked to be painfully shy. That was right – Mary had not suited her house until her seventh year.

"Arabella," said Sirius with a warm tone, and for the first time all evening, he seemed to rise above his brooding. "Why didn't I see you on the train?" _Arabella. _And suddenly, the name clicked in his mind. Yes, she had been in his year; but she had died rather suddenly. At the time, it had been quite a scandal among the rest of the school – no one had spoken of anything but Arabella Prewett for several weeks. He also recalled that it had taken the death of their cousin to quiet Gideon and Fabian, but they had only restrained themselves for two months before they continued as they had before.

But try as he might, Severus could not recall what had caused her death. No doubt, this was due to the fact that he had marked it as insignificant at the time, and he hadn't bothered to remember. But it didn't matter now. If she was going to die, she was going to die. He didn't dare interfere with something as monumental as death; the consequences of changing that would be unimaginable.

"You didn't see me because you ran off before I could find you!" she said hotly, sounding indignant that he dare to try and pin her disappearance on her. "So I sat with Mary instead." She gestured back towards Miss McDonald, who nodded timidly before returning to stare at her shoes.

"Well, I only ran off because James dragged me." Sirius said innocently, shrugging his shoulders, playing at the victim.

"If I remember correctly," said James, his voice containing a bit of a jesting edge, "I only dragged you off because you begged me to, before your 'annoying little cousin' could find you."

"I don't believe you, Sirius!" cried Arabella in indignation, "I should have known better than to count on you." James chuckled without restraint, and Sirius looked as if he were struggling not to join him. They were cousins? That was right; the Black and Prewett families were related. A majority of the Prewetts had been marked as blood traitors, and seeing Arabella's house, Severus was almost certain that she and Sirius shared similar ideologies.

"You should have been in Slytherin," Arabella snarled, clearly upset by the way he had reacted to her statement. Sirius choked on his own breath, and James roared with laughter. Severus smirked: the fire in her voice was so tangible that it should have burned the very air they breathed. He glanced sideways at Lily, and he saw that even she was smiling. To his right, Arabella was only becoming angrier at the sight of her cousin's friend openly mocking her, and Mary looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Sev- Severus," James gasped, laughing so hard he looked as if he were struggling to breathe, "He nearly was!"

"Me?" asked Sirius, entirely ignoring James' remark, "In _Slytherin? _ Hell will freeze over before I'd even think of it!" Arabella, seemingly cured by her cousin's injured remark, laughed at him freely. She smiled smugly, and replied smoothly, looking entirely unruffled by the anger she had experienced earlier.

"Well, Sirius, that's what you _say._How do we know you aren't just a snake in hiding, waiting to drag all of us down with you?" Sirius looked absolutely enraged. Pride had always had so much control over Black, and Severus had to admit, it was good to see Sirius come entirely undone.

"How dare you even suggest it?" he yelled, not noticing that he was now attracting the interest of several of their peers. "That bloody hat put me in the right house, and you can shove your bloody opinions up your damn –"

"Students," called Dumbledore, his voice drowning out the end of Sirius' self-defense. Severus noted that he was now standing back at the podium, "I fear that like all things, our feast must come to an end. First years, please follow your house prefects to your common room, and there you will be shown your dormitories. Class schedules will be passed out tomorrow at breakfast. Sleep well, students!" By the time Dumbledore had finished, Black had fallen silent, his face crimson with anger. Arabella, however, was smiling sweetly at him.

Severus decided that he liked the girl immediately.

The chatter picked up again once people began standing from their seats, and Severus slid out of his seat as quickly as he could. He waited beside Lily patently, and as soon as she stood, she was speaking more quickly than he had ever heard her before.

"Sev! You never told me that it was so big! Or that we had to row across a lake! Or that there were floating candles! And you never said a _word_ about the Sorting Hat." He laughed as she paused, waiting impatiently for an answer.

"I've never been here before, either," he reminded her teasingly, and he smiled wryly at her. It had been so many years since he had smiled genuinely: Lily had been the only person who had ever inspired true happiness in him. Even if she had never been his, he had always been hers. She paused for a moment before continuing, and he could only guess that she was trying to come up with more wonderful things about Hogwarts.

"I'm so glad that we're both in the same house, Sev. We would have been so lonely, if not." He was slightly shaken by her statement; she had no idea how lonely he had been in Slytherin. The only people that he could associate himself with were all future Death Eaters, and that had eventually lead to the break in their friendship and her death.

"I am too, Lily." He said softly, keeping his eyes on her as they moved along with their fellow Gryffindors. Severus could hardly believe that he was one of them now, or that he had an actual chance at having Lily Evans. He had spent his entire life praying for this, and after a lifetime of pain, the chance was finally here.

Just then, a fellow first year rammed into her, knocking her into Severus. He grabbed her shoulders reflexively as they slammed into his chest, and set her standing again as quickly as he could. He dared not allow his mind to linger on the thought of touching her. He couldn't risk driving her away, not now that things were set on a different course. Doing his best to not dwell on the sensation of her weight against him, he instead focused on the student that had run into her, and was unable to keep a dark scowl from his face.

"I'm so sorry," said the offender quietly, looking at his shoes. That was probably the reason that he had run into her in the first place.

"It's quite alright," said Lily warmly, ignoring the crowd of Gryffindors that were walking around the trio. "It was only an accident. What's your name?"

"Peter," the boy mumbled at the floor, "Peter Pettigrew."

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><p><em>I hope you enjoyed it! <em>


	3. Chapter 3

_ I apologize beforehand for the length of this chapter: I couldn't find a better place to break the writing into a chapter ending._

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><p>Severus' dark eyes remained locked on Pettigrew, and his mouth twisted into a snarl as he answered Lily. His own part in Lily's death was forgotten; all of the rage and self-loathing that had been eating away at him was now directed at Wormtail. It had taken a monumental effort to keep from murdering him as a double agent, and somehow, it seemed even more difficult to keep from killing him now. His wand became heavier in his sleeve, and the warning that Olivander had given him ran clearly through his mind.<p>

_Ebony and Dragon Heartstring. A very powerful combination, Mr. Snape. This wand will surely preform incredible magic. But with the wrong intentions, it can be deadly. Very deadly._

At the moment, Severus only wanted to test the potential deadliness of his wand. Never before had he attempted to perform the killing curse with such raw emotion behind it; surely, the blast would be strong enough to obliterate Peter Pettigrew and destroy the wall behind him. His rage taking control of him, his face contorted into an animalistic sneer of pure hatred, and before he realized it, his wand had slipped from his sleeve and into his hand. Pale, long fingers clasped onto the ebony with a vice-like grip. So tight was his grasp that his hand began to tremble, and his arm moved slowly: time seemed to slow to an agonizing crawl.

Peter finally looked up from the floor, and seeing Severus' expression, he flinched violently, and his watery eyes flew to the wand that was very nearly pointed at him. He squeaked in the back of his throat; the noise reached Severus' ears and a dark, cruel laugh very nearly escaped him.

"Severus?"

The sharp, palpable concern in Lily's voice sliced through his anger, and set off alarm bells in the deepest recesses of his conscious. To kill Peter Pettigrew would equate to losing Lily Evans. If he so much as uttered the first syllable of the curse, there would be no return. Although his punishment would not be as drastic as Askaban, surely, attempted murder would end in being expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And only the only way he could conceivably make it easier for Potter to claim her would require him to call her a mudblood again.

The blood drained from his face as he realized that she had seen, that she knew how he hated Peter, and his thoughts flew into a horrified frenzy. She wouldn't trust him; worse, she would fear him. He swallowed, and with his hand still trembling, he lowered his wand. Peter stared at his right hand, wide eyed with fear, and continued to stare at Severus' scrawny wrist after the wand had been stored back in his sleeve. He closed his eyes, reining the maelstrom of emotions back into a semblance of control.

"Severus?" Lily asked again, the concern in her voice became softer and surrounded him a warm embrace. For the second time this evening, she touched him, gingerly resting a hand on the curve of his bony shoulder. He opened his eyes again, and took in the pathetic image of Peter Pettigrew. He looked as if he were about to wet himself, his entire body stiffened with terror. "Are you alright?" she asked this slowly, and he could hear the fear that had crept into her own voice. Lily had always been far too empathetic for her own good: she had picked up on Pettigrew's fear and embodied it. Or, perhaps, there was another reason.

He dared to think that it was fear for him.

"Yes," he said quietly, in a low tone of voice, all the while staring at Peter, "I'm fine." Pettigrew had still not moved an inch, and if anything, his eyes had only grown wider: his grey irises were glinting with unshed tears that had been produced by fear. Severus forced his body to relax, and his shoulders slumped beneath Lily's hand, and he took a deep breath into his lungs.

With a great amount of effort, he turned away from Wormtail, and faced the eleven year old girl. Her sweet, oval face had not yet filled out into the lovely features he knew: age prevented her cheekbones from being very prominent, and the gentle curve of her jaw was hardly as striking as he remembered it. However, her warm eyes, those lovely green eyes, were just as he remembered them. And now, they were not filled with laughter or joy, only concern with a lining of fear. Her eyes were truly the window to her soul. Severus had the sudden urge to kiss her. That was a longing that he had battled with since his twelfth birthday, when she had kissed him on the cheek. He never had the courage to return the gesture. She had never attempted again.

He fought the longing, forcing it the thought to unravel itself as he focused on the present. There was a silence that had built between the three, and it was likely that neither Peter nor Lily was inclined to break it. He knew immediately what she wanted him to say; throughout their friendship, she had hinted at it multiple times, but he had never been able to do it. His damned pride always seemed to get in the way of it, even though he knew that it was her _only_ requirement of him.

_Apologize._

As the foreign, ignored term crossed his mind, he could feel the ambitious monster within him do its best to obliterate the thought with a self-righteous rampage. _There is no reason to apologize! _ It screamed, _He is responsible for her death, and deserves to die himself! Why not at your hands? This is your chance! Take it _now! He could not deny it: the chance to finally have revenge on Peter was a dark temptation; it sang to him of power and control – the effect was not unlike the one that the Dark Arts had on him. The wisdom that he had gained whispered to him, like some long forgotten ghost of the past: _The first step is always the most difficult. But it will become easier as you go._

His pride had already suffered a huge blow at the hand of the Marauders, but doing his best to remedy things with Peter seemed to be of an even greater importance than that. If he refused, this would give Sirius all the more reason to despise him; and perhaps, this would create the grounds for James to deny him as well. The price he had paid to gain this second chance had been far too high to let it slip through his grasp now.

He studied Lily for only a moment longer, his dark eyes lingering on her soft features, knowing that he would do anything to call her his. From the angle he had positioned his feet he merely had to twist his neck to turn back to Peter, and as he did, he made sure to keep his face emotionless. There was emotion burning still burning in his eyes, but that was beyond his control.

Peter trembled in cowardice as Severus met his gaze. Was it possible that Pettigrew knew that Severus had come very close to ending his life?

"I apologize for frightening you," he said coolly, and it was easily distinguishable that there was very little sincerity in his statement. "I assure you Peter, it won't happen again." The second lie of the evening rolled over his tongue and spilled through his lips with a surprising amount of ease. "I'm Severus Snape." He extended his hand cordially, and the chubby little boy was only able to stare at his outstretched palm. Severus let it linger in the air for a moment before bringing his arm back to his side.

He had hoped that his apology, however lacking it was, would bring Lily to speech again. Against his wishes, she remained as silent as Peter, but her hand remained on his shoulder. He knew that it would take days, if not weeks to repair the damage, and he feared that some if it was irrevocable.

Unable to bear watching Pettigrew mull in silence any longer, Severus turned his gaze to the magnificent double doors that separated the Great Hall from the rest of the castle. They had been standing there for so long that every house had already filed out past them: the blonde head of Lucius Malfoy, a seventh year Prefect was last to pass through the doorway, presumably bringing up the back of Slytherin as they migrated towards the Dungeons.

"I think we should be going," he said firmly, and glanced at Lily before moving quickly towards the doors. She stared after him for a moment, and then hesitantly followed. Peter hurried to stay beside her, as if he felt that she would act as some sort of barrier between him and Severus. His shoes echoing softly as they clicked against the stone floors, Severus realized that he was the only one in the trio who knew their destination: as a Professor, he had often been required to visit the Gryffindor Tower on two occasions, but he knew the way well enough. Finding the way was not his challenge, however, remaining inconspicuous was. Lily and Peter believed this to be his first night at Hogwarts: he shouldn't know the directions to the correct tower any more than they.

Severus slowed as he reached passed through the doorway, waiting for Lily to catch up with him. He glanced to his left long enough to see Malfoy striding arrogantly down the hall, but he knew that questioning the Prefect would be a useless cover. Lucius would not know any more than either of the first years. There would be no reason for it – he was a Slytherin, and Severus doubted that he had ever been to the Gryffindor Tower, much less that he knew where it was.

Lily seemed to realize their dilemma at the same time.

"Sev," she murmured as she reached him, as if she was afraid of being caught straggling behind the rest of her house, "How do we find our common room?" He restrained from looking at her, instead scanning the monumental staircase that stood before him. The Gryffindor Tower was to the right, and the Ravenclaw was to the left. But he could not share that key information with her or anyone else: that would raise unwelcome questions.

"I don't know." He lied, keeping his voice low as well, "Did anyone mention which way it was?" He knew that they had not. It was unadvisable to mention the location of one's house quarters in a place as open as the Great Hall.

"I don't think so," she said, concern returning to her voice, "No, I would remember it if they did." He glanced at her, his eyes flicking from her features to Peter who stood three feet behind them. The fear had not disappeared from his eyes, but at least his features were no longer etched in stark terror. It would take even more of an effort to gain his trust than it would to gain Sirius' good opinion; but he did not care for Peter's approval as it was.

"There are only two directions we can go," he said confidently, doing his best to put Lily's concern at ease. Even if he forced them through a few wrong turns to keep from appearing suspicious, he would eventually guide them to the correct place. "Shall we go left or right?" Lily was quiet for several seconds as she considered the question he had asked her, and she seemed entirely unsure when she answered him.

"Right," she said slowly, "It seems to feel better."

"Right it is, then." He was unsure whether to be impressed or to disregard her correct answer as chance. Lily had always been rather insightful when it came to reading people; it was possible that her intuition could have spilled over into her guess. Or, it was simply chace. Either way, he was pleased that he would not have to find another path through the endless corridors to the Gryffindor Tower. If she had chosen left, it would have been possible to reach their common room, but it would have taken at least double the amount of time going to the right would.

He took long strides to the base of the grand staircase, still appearing confident for her sake. Of course, he was already confident in his knowledge of how to reach the tower, but he hoped that showing it would allow Lily to calm a bit. Her voice shook slightly in her last statement: no doubt, she feared being caught and disciplined by higher authority.

As he ascended the first few steps in the staircase, Lily did the same, but he could sense that Peter remained at the bottom. He glanced back at the toeheaded boy, and kept his features as impassive as his ability of control allowed. Pettigrew still did not move. Biting back a sigh of frustration, he continued on to the first landing of the grand staircase, and only stopped once Lily had reached as well.

"Aren't you coming, Peter?" He asked smoothly, catching the subtle signs of distrust that were cast in the traitor's visage.

"How – how can you be sure that we're going the right way?" he stammered, looking from Severus to Lily in apprehension. He looked even more fearful of punishment than Lily did. He was truly a coward hiding in the house of bravery; a skittish kitting hiding among lions.

"Does it –" Severus began coldly, but was soon cut off by Lily.

"We can't be sure," she reassured him, seeming to be cured of her own concern, "But we aren't going to get any closer if we don't try." Peter nodded dumbly, and taking her word to heart, scrambled up the staircase quickly, and soon stood with them on the landing. As soon as Pettigrew had reached them, Severus was off again, not wishing to spend any more time with him than was necessary. He strode up the stairs quickly, his tattered, second-hand robes swishing as he did. The thin fabric caught in the air more easily than the newer robes that Lily and Peter wore. He ignored the stab of resentment he felt for his poverty as the thought crossed his mind: this was not the time to mope about the circumstances he had no control over.

When he reached the top of the staircase, his memory told him to go right: that would lead to a second pair of staircases that would bring them closer to the tower, but instead he moved to the left. Their journey could not be without mistakes if he was attempting to remain realistic. The wide corridor that branched off in both directions was another prime example of the dramatic beauty in the architecture of the castle: the railing that overlooked the staircase below had exquisite detailing, and the high vaulted ceilings were decorated with accents that were reminiscent of the gothic period.

Numerous portraits were hung on the stone walls, chattering amongst themselves, expressing either contentment or regret that term had resumed. None of them seemed to take notice of the three first years that passed them by, although Severus noticed that some of their glances seemed to follow them. He could hear Lily's footsteps slowing behind his own, and curiosity struck him. Why would she be slowing? Peter was only a few paces behind them; it was unlikely that he had fallen that far behind. He dismissed the question; whatever her reason was, she soon return to his side. However, when he reached the end of the corridor, and was again presented with the option of either left or right, he was slightly concerned by the fact that she had not yet returned.

He glanced back at her, and he saw both Lily and Peter stopped in the middle of the hall, both of them staring at the portraits. The answer struck him immediately – although he had told her that pictures moved in their world, it was impossible to expect that she was fully prepared for seeing it in person. He waited for a little while longer, seeing if they would come towards them on their own. When they did not move in the time he had waited, he moved towards them, and only stopped when he was standing behind Lily.

"I told you they moved," he said quietly, and she looked over at her shoulder, grinning widely at him.

"I know," she said, and he noted that excitement had overshadowed the concern in her voice, "But it's amazing all the same." Peter had not yet commented on the portraits, and Severus could only assume that his dull brain had ben overpowered by the magical occurrence he was witnessing. But no, Pettigrew would have known that portraits moved; if Severus remembered correctly, he had come from a pureblood family. Perhaps he was only trying to cope with the shock of fear he had experienced earlier.

He let her watch them for a few moments longer, and then feeling that he had exercised his patience long enough, he addressed them both with advice. "We should be going," he said silkily, doing his best to be persuasive, "Before they send someone looking for us." Lily nodded soundlessly, and not bothering to see if Peter consented as well, he retraced his steps down the corridor. She trailed only a few steps behind him, and he assumed that Peter was either beside her or behind her. He took a right turn this time: it was the only way to correct mis-turn he had taken earlier. Lily and Peter followed Severus faithfully for the next quarter hour, sometimes backtracking turns that ended in dead ends, or ascending then descending staircases. After Severus felt that he had taken enough unnecessary mistakes, he finally navigated their journey correctly, and they arrived at the portrait containing the Fat Lady shortly.

Severus stared at the large portrait with a calculating gaze, and with a sinking realization, he knew that reaching the Gryffindor Tower had only been half of the challenge. In the two times that he had visited the Gryffindor common room in his long career as the Potions Master, he had always secured the password from Minerva beforehand. Now, with the rest of the house locked securely inside, it was a slim hope that there would be able to let them in. And without the correct password, they could very well be out here the entire night.

He certainly did not wish for Lily's first night at Hogwarts to end with being forced to sleep on the floor. He knew how to conjure up bedding – it was a simple charm that had been taught in his third year. But he could not preform it, not without attracting far too much attention to himself. In this reality, he had only received his wand a few short weeks ago. True, Hermione Granger, the insufferable young witch he had taught for six years had known half of each of her spell books by the time she had arrived to Hogwarts. It would not have been impossible for her to perform a charm that was at a level a few years ahead of her upon her arrival; after all, she had managed to brew Polyjuice Potion in her second year. All of the required ingredients had vanished from his private stock, and he doubted very seriously that Potter or Weasley had the intellect or the desire necessary to brew it.

But even so, producing bedding from thin air was not a risk he wished to take. There was the option of going to Minerva themselves, but that was immediately discarded. That would require him knowing where her private office was, and that would be even more suspicious than somehow being able to find his way to the Gryffindor Tower. Their only option was to wait until someone found them: that was an option that he entirely disliked, but it was the only plausible path he could take.

"Sev," Lily's voice broke the silence of the small corridor that they had wound up in, shattering his thoughts. "Why are you staring at that portrait?" Her question shook him; he had not been cautious enough. How could he have known that the entrance was concealed behind a portrait, if this had been his first time here? He panicked for a moment, wondering how he could amend his mistake, but he was saved by the high, falsetto voice of the portrait.

"Do you have the password, dears?" He took the chance that she had given him, and grabbed for it savagely.

"Password?" he asked, sounding more desperate than he had wanted to, "There's a password?"

"Of course!" cried the Fat Lady, "How else would the Gryffindor Tower be protected?" She realized the slip that she had made, squeaked loudly, and raised a flabby hand to her mouth, covering nearly half of her features that had been contorted by obesity. "I wasn't meant to say that," she said hurriedly, "Forget that I did."

"Oh, no," said Lily quickly, sounding relieved that they had been led to the right place, and as if she were trying to set the portrait at ease, "We're Gryffindors. But we're first years, and we haven't been told the password."

"Even so," said the portrait, her voice colored with both relief and firmness, "I can't let you in without the password." Lily looked to Severus, her face filled with apprehension, and her eyes shining with what looked to be panic, and he regretted the fact that he could not fix this.

"Sev," she said in a hushed voice, "What do we do now?"

"I don't know," he said to her, genuine worry filling his voice, "We'll have to wait until someone tells us the password." He smiled weakly at her, wishing that there was an easier way for them to get inside. This was his fault; if he had been able to control himself when he had met Peter, they would have been inside, sitting by the fire and preparing to retire for the evening.

"We could be out here all night!" Whined Peter piteously, as if he hoped to gain sympathy from either of them. Severus had the impulse to snarl at him, as he had no patience for whining or moaning about circumstances that could not be helped, but he reined the urge with a surprising amount of control. He had already slipped once this evening: he knew that he could not afford to do it again.

"It'll be alright," said Lily, turning to face Peter, "Someone will come looking for us eventually."

She was right: soon enough, someone would realize that three first years were missing. He doubted that Sirius or James would alert a Prefect of the dilemma, but he had faith in Arabella. Surely, she would notice Lily's absence, and someone could come looking for her, finding he and Peter in the process. She smiled reassuringly at Peter, and he seemed to cheer up, although his change in mood was only slight. She then looked at Severus, and her expression changed as her eyes settled on his.

It became warmer, lovelier, and friendlier.

His breath caught in the back of his throat, and relief rushed through him. What he had done earlier seemed to be entirely forgiven; although his apology has not been enough for Peter, it had been enough for Lily. That was all that had truly mattered to him, and the gaping hole that her hatred had left in his chest was suddenly filled again. Warmth flooded him, and in that instant, his broken heart healed. Twenty five years of pain, remorse, and darkness seemed to fade. It was as if those emotions had been taken from his body, seeping from his soul and onto the floor. For that single moment, time halted, and everything was right in the world. He took in a breath, relishing in the cleanliness of his heart, and let it out slowly. He stared at Lily outright, his eyes hungrily taking in her face, and the intensity of his gaze should have made her turn away. And yet, it did not.

There was a sound that filled the perfect silence: the portrait door was creaking as it swung open. The noise, however soft, shattered the sensation he had been feeling, and as his body were some great magnet, the emotions that had been gone were all now returned, and he knew that the battle had not yet been won. It would take seven more years for it to be complete, and victory was not certain. But giving into weakness was not an option.

"There you three are," said a voice, and Severus forced his eyes away from Lily, and onto the freckled, round features of a Gryffindor Prefect. His badge was pinned lopsidedly on the right breast of his robes. His red tie was knotted sloppily over his shirt, and it tucked down into his cardigan at an odd angle. His ginger hair was messy, and it looked as if it had not been combed in several days. His eyes were a flat shade of brown, and at the moment, they held displeasure. "It's against the rules to go off exploring on your own; you should know better." Lily's face became tinged with pink: this was the reprimand that she had feared since they had gotten separated from the rest of their house. "You'd better get inside, curfew is in fifteen minutes."

The Prefect strode towards them lazily, and then herded them through the doorway that had been concealed by the portrait. "The password is Asphodel," he said dryly, and then left the three of them to view the common room on their own. The walls were a warm shade of scarlet, and there were golden accents that had been meticulously painted upon them. They looked to be like one magnificent, intricate tapestry. Severus had never taken the time to pause and appreciate the interior of the Gryffindor common room, and he was glad that he did now. On the far wall, there was a roaring, cheerful fire. The fireplace was surrounded by comfortable looking scarlet armchairs, and a couch that was parallel to the mantle. There were tables in the far corners, with chairs arranged around them. There were several, arch–shaped windows that were indented into the walls, and they provided a view of the grounds below.

All in all, the common room was a very quaint, homely place. Severus took a great liking to it; he was even fonder of this than he had been of the Slytherin common room – they could have been more opposite.

"It's nice, isn't it?" asked Lily, and Severus was unsure if she was being rhetorical or if she was addressing him. He decided to answer anyways: he had been waiting far too long to hear her voice to not take advantage of it.

"Yeah," he said, sounding too enthusiastic for his liking, "It is." He would have never imagined himself to be so utterly content in Gryffindor, and yet, he was. They stood there for a while longer, taking in the warmth of what was now their home. When Peter's voice finally broke the silence, Severus had nearly forgotten that Pettigrew was there.

"We should be getting to bed, don't you think?" He asked nervously, looking to Lily for approval. Severus was wary of how attached he seemed to be to her, but doubted that Pettigrew posed any real threat to him: no, his only concern was Potter.

"I suppose we should," said Lily regretfully, and then towards Severus. "Good night, you two. I'll see you both in the morning." She smiled gently, and he could not help but feel that the smile was meant entirely for him.

"Good night, Lily." He said gently, and he watched her as she moved towards the staircase that lead to the dormitories. He stood there for only a little longer and only moved when Peter cleared his throat shakily, sounding as if he was afraid of Severus turning on him again. Severus said nothing as he took off, moving towards the opposite staircase that Lily had taken. He walked at a slow, leisurely pace, still surprised by how much he was enjoying having become a Gryffindor. With Peter still trailing behind him, he climbed the plaintive staircase without rush, and at the landing, was greeted by a small hallway that had several doors. First on the right read a sign that said: First Years, and he strode towards it. As he came close to the door, he could distinguish that an unnecessary amount of noise was being made, consisting mostly of yells and laughter: only Sirius and James could create a ruckus like that. He sighed quietly, and nearly fearing the scene that waited him, opened the door slowly.

He cracked the door until it was open a quarter's way, and just as he poked his head through, his eyes took in a sight he had not been expecting. A scarlet pillow was soaring towards him, and he was unable to move out of the way in time. It smacked his face with a surprising amount of force, and painfully pressed his nose into his skull. He heard laugher as the pillow fell to the floor, and his patience fled entirely. With a single, powerful shove, the door was slammed into the opposite wall, and the seething figure of Severus Snape stormed through the doorway. Sirius and James were staring at him, each quivering with laugher, and he was greeted with the most destroyed room he had ever seen. The contents of a trunk had been dumped into the floor; pillows, coverlets, comforters, and scarlet sheets were strewn across the room. It looked like a battlefield, and judging by the fact that each of them were clutching pillows in their hands, it seemed that a battlefield was exactly what he had stumbled into.

"What," he began slowly, his voice lowered to a menacing hiss, "In God's bloody name is going on in HERE?" By the end of his question, his voice had risen to a coarse yell, and his face had become white with rage. A prominent vein in his forehead began throbbing, and Sirius and James, being the imbeciles they always were, did not seem to grasp the seriousness of the situation. They stared at Severus, and then looked to one another, and burst into laughter so loud and breathless that they were soon in tears.

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><p><em>Please review! <em>


	4. Chapter 4

Severus had the urge to scream at the pair, to belittle them for their insensitivity, and to mock their obviously low intelligence. His hands were balled into tight, pale fists at his sides, and he could feel his shoulders trembling with tension. For the second time that evening, he felt a snarl contorting his sallow features, and his dingy teeth were revealed from beneath his curled upper lip. He had could not recall ever reacting this violently to anything that they had done in the past; it was difficult to comprehend why he was doing so now. He would contemplate that later: in the present, his entire being was so consumed with rage that there was little else he could think of. What they had done was by no means their worst, but after spending nearly ten years being taunted, mocked, and humiliated by Black and Potter, this was no longer the anger of an eleven year old child: it was the fury of a grown man with years of hatred and resentment fueling the fiery inferno of emotion. However, neither James nor Sirius seemed intimidated in the least by his wrath, and were still howling with laughter.

"I – I can't – believe that – that it hit – right in the – FACE!" Sirius hooted, his face flushed scarlet, and his brown eyes seemed to bulge from his skull.

"Did – did you – see the way – he looked?" James sobbed in laughter, choking on his attempt to cough and laugh simultaneously. Rage simmered beneath the thinning surface of control, and without restraint, Severus snapped.

"There's _nothing_ funny about it." he said in a low, deadly voice, although he knew that it would bring less than satisfactory results. Sirius stopped laughing abruptly, and looked Severus dead in the eye. Warm, brown eyes were met with steely black irises that were filled with cold infuriation. Oh, he was going to be _merciless. _The arrogant, spoilt brats were finally going to get what they deserved. James was still struggling to breathe beside Sirius, but Black had gained control, and was now smiling darkly at him.

"I think," he said slowly, boredom saturated in his voice, "That it's the funniest thing I've seen in a good while." He grinned devilishly. Severus hoped he went to Hell. "What do you think, James?"

James was hiccupping, his face was scarlet and tear stained, and he glanced from Sirius to Severus with a wide grin plastered on his face. "You put on a rather good show, Severus. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that angry. Your face…" He laughed loudly again, seeming unable to prevent it. "I wish you could see yourself."

"I know exactly what I look like, thank you." He said coldly, glaring directly at Sirius. Black had not yet wiped that ridiculous grin off of his face, and it was beyond irritating to see him take so much amusement in his anger. He couldn't stand to look at the smirk on his face any longer: instead, he turned his eyes to the destroyed dormitory. It was worse than his first glance had allowed him to see. Various books and articles had been strewn around the room, and objects littered the floor and were twisted among every piece of bedding in the small room. Each and every bed had been stripped of both the top sheet and the bottom, the scarlet feather-down duvet, and the decorative coverlet. All ten of the goose feather pillows were in different locations, two of them in Potter's possession, and one of them in Sirius'. Of course, it had been Black that flung the offending object.

"I'll ask you again," he said softly, his voice again dropping into a menacing drawl, "What in God's name happened in here?" Sirius smiled widely, and his grip became ever so slightly tighter on his pillow. It was a minor detail, but one that did not escape Severus' notice.

"James threw a pillow at me," he said casually. "Naturally, I threw one back. When we had chucked all the pillows, we turned to blankets. I'm sure you can guess the rest on your own." Severus wondered momentarily if they had pulled this same stunt twenty years ago at their first night at Hogwarts. He wouldn't have been shocked if they had; Black and Potter had always been extremely destructive, and they wreaked havoc wherever they went. He had trouble believing that he had bound himself to them for the next seven years of his life. "The trunk," Sirius continued, "Happened when idiotically James flicked his wand at me in hopes that it would do something." Here, James sniggered, and Sirius smiled in amusement. "Instead of blasting my head off, like he had hoped, he managed to tip the trunk over. But that was a rather good thing: the game became much more fun after that."

They truly could not be any dafter.

How could they possibly take enjoyment in something so entirely juvenile? Granted, they were eleven, and they had always been lacking in maturity, but this was absolutely ridiculous. Surely, they weren't allowed to behave like this at home: they were both purebloods, and regardless of whether they liked it or not, they had standards to uphold. If anyone in Slytherin dared to even cross a toe over the line of decency, they were usually shunned from the acceptable social circles. How was it that when a Gryffindor behaved like a wild banshee, they became popular? When the very same action would cause a Slytherin to be avoided like the plague?

"And how," he said cynically, "Would that be any fun?" The smirk on Sirius' face grew wider. The corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement, and for a moment, he seemed to radiate smugness. Severus did not need to use Legilimency to know that Black had something in mind.

"Like this." And as soon as the words left his mouth, he pulled his arm back powerfully, and with a swing that held a surprising amount of strength, the only pillow he had left in his hand took flight.

Severus reacted immediately. Years of dueling, very often with his life on the line, made this look like child's play. Within an instant, his wand was in his grasp, and reflexively he raised it and pointed it at the scarlet projectile soaring towards him.

_Confringo. _

A jet of red light burst from his wand instantaneously and it met the pillow with a ferocious amount of force. There was a tremendous blast as the pillow was obliterated, and the flames roiled in colors of red and orange before dissipating as quickly as they had come. Singed tatters of what had been a red pillow case floated daintily to the floor, and stray, blackened feathers remained in the air for a few short seconds before joining the red cloth on the floorboards. Everyone in the room was utterly silent, and both James and Sirius were staring at Severus with their eyes wide. As Severus took in their awe, he realized that he had made a misstep that could have serious ramifications.

He was a first year. He wasn't meant to be capable of destructive spells, much less nonverbal magic. He dared not allow the panic show on his face, and took advantage of their silence as quickly as he could.

"I suggest that you take this somewhere else."

James looked to Sirius, and still silent with shock, they each bent down to gather up armfuls of bedding. They both avoided the remnants of the pillow case as if it carried a disease: as if they feared that they would be next to burn if they went anywhere near it. Once they had each gathered up twice their width in sheets and blankets, they stood uneasily, and moved towards the door. Severus stood aside as they passed, carefully watching their expressions. Terror was absent: that was slightly disappointing to a part of him, but the sane portion of his brain was relieved.

Peter scrambled out of their way as they passed through the doorway, barely fitting through with their burden. James was the first one out, and as soon as Sirius had followed, the door clicked gently behind them. Severus sighed in relief. They had not asked questions yet: in their absence, he would have long enough to prepare an excuse. He could lie, and say that his wand had Phoenix tail feathers as a core; those were well known for reacting on their own. But would that explain the explosion that had occurred? If either of their wands contained Phoenix, they would see through the lie immediately. No, that wouldn't work. Frantically, he began digging through the piles of bedding that had been left behind, looking for a bottom sheet to begin to make up his bed. After digging for a bit, he finally found a piece of silky scarlet, and he yanked at it until it became unearthed from the things it was tangled in. His anxiety only rose when he discovered that it was a top sheet, and he tossed it behind him so it could be put to use later.

He continued searching, stooped over, and beneath a copy of _A Guide to Practical Magic_, he found another silken sheet. He tugged at it ferociously, and when it came free, he was only slightly relieved to see that it was a fitted sheet. Severus slung the sheet over his shoulder, and looked around the room for the bed which had his trunk at the foot of it. Opposite from the door, he saw his old, beaten dark trunk and he moved towards it frantically. He needed to correct this, and yet, there was no solution that appeared in his mind. He could not apologize to wiggle his way out of this one.

Severus pulled the sheet across the bottom corners of his mattress, and then walked it up to the opposite end. He tucked in the right corner with little trouble; however, the last corner was a struggle. He tried pinning it into place with his hand as he jumped onto his bed and moved across it, but there had been too much slack on the right corner, and it had come undone. He growled in agitation: his emotions were still fresh from the encounter with Sirius, and the added apprehension only added to his irritability.

He tried again to settle the sheet properly, and again, he was greeted with failure. He momentarily was tempted to pull out his wand and charm the sheet into sticking, but he didn't dare use magic again: with Peter as a witness, that would only throw him deeper into the churning mess he had brewed. On his fourth attempt, when he was near punching the wall with frustration, he tugged the right corner especially tight, but when moved to attempt to pull the right tight, he saw that there was already another pair of hands tugging at the sheet. The nimble sets of fingers moved with great dexterity and grace, and the sheet was tucked beneath the mattress quickly.

Black eyes snapped up to the face of the boy who had helped him, and they were greeted with the childish, yet familiar features of Remus Lupin. His eyes were that same piercing grey, and even at this young age, he looked as if he had lived two full lifetimes. There were dark circles beneath his eyes, and that ever detached manner was a characteristic of him, even now. His mind was focused constantly upon his greatest flaw and secret: the very secret that Severus had discovered in his fifth year.

"I thought you could use some help," Remus said courteously, and a sad smile graced his face as he reached out to shake Severus' hand. "I'm Remus, by the way."

"Thank you," Severus said slowly, putting several years of Occulemency to use. He tried his best to clear the anxiety of his mind, and unsuccessfully attempted to clear the worry from his voice. "I'm Severus Snape."

"Nice to meet you," Lupin said as warmly as it was possible for him, and the smile remained on his face.

"It's nice to meet you, as well." Severus wasn't sure what else to say. He had never been talented at conversing with people: for what he had in intelligence, he was sorely lacking in the ability to relate to people. Even in this second chance, he doubted that he would be able to expand upon that skill very well. Perhaps, with the lack of the Dark Arts, and with Lily's assistance, he could learn some, but he would never be as empathetic as she was.

The pair was quiet for a good while, standing parallel to one another across Severus' bed, Remus looking off into the distance at the wall beside him, and Severus staring down at his sheet. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but unless one of them said anything, it would become awkward. Finally, Remus' voice broke the silence.

"If you don't mind my asking," he said cautiously, looking at Severus with a flicker of curiosity flashing across his countenance, "How did you manage to destroy that pillow?" He tensed, and very nearly clasped onto the sheets in trepidation. He refrained at the last moment, merely flexing his hands out as they tried to clasp onto the silk. He wasn't prepared to explain it, not yet. Remus seemed to pick up on his hesitation, and quickly followed his question in a hurried tone. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

Severus respected the space that Remus was offering to give him. It was likely an effect of carrying his own secret, and although it was tempting to take the young man's offer, he knew that he could not. He could not afford to be suspicious, not in front of a future member of the Marauders. No, it was best to remain as inconspicuous as he could: there was danger in obviously being different –

And suddenly, he was struck with an idea.

"No, it's fine," he said coolly, "I learned from my mother." His mother had to hide every bit of her magical heritage from his father. They fought constantly, and the results were never gorgeous. If his mother were to dare to preform magic in front of him, the consequences for her would be unimaginable. Her welfare depended on remaining inconspicuous, just as his did.

"Mmm," Lupin said under his breath, but chose not to elaborate on his feelings. "I should probably pick up my things…" he said, trailing off, clearly trying to find a way to end the conversation.

"And I should continue with mine," followed Severus, and with nothing left to say, the two moved towards opposite ends of the room and began to gather up bedding. Within a few minutes, he had the top sheet neatly tucked onto his bed, and although the duvet was ominously absent from the room, he placed his coverlet on top of his bed, and spread the creases out carefully. He glanced over at Remus, and he saw that not only was did he have a pile of bedding stacked beside the far end of the circular room; he was also rummaging through the scattered objects that were in various parts of the room. So it had been his trunk that Black and Potter had emptied.

"Need a hand?" he asked flatly, and strode over towards Remus. He stood looking over him; scrutinizing the way that he was stacking the objects he had retrieved from the far corners of the room. He was reminded of being the Potions Master, watching the pathetic excuses he had for students attempt to brew the simplistic potions that were printed so incorrectly in their little textbooks.

"I'm fine," said Remus in a sort of reassuring tone, "But you may help me if you wish." Severus smirked; he had always preferred Remus' subtle, witty nature over the arrogant god-like people James and Sirius thought themselves to be. Severus stooped down beside Remus wordlessly, and began helping him stacking the textbooks and robes back inside his trunk. It took a little over five minutes, and once they had finished the task, Severus stood and moved back towards his own trunk – Remus did not offer any thanks, and Severus found that he preferred it that way. After all, it had been his decision to help.

As he passed by his trunk, he saw that there was something that he had not noticed before. There, stretched out across the top of his trunk laid a scarlet and gold stripe tie. He picked it up, and looked at it curiously. The silk was stretched across both his pale palms, and the colors actually looked quite nice with his coloring. Of course, the Slytherin colors had suited him as well, but Severus was unable to say which he preferred. Slytherin, although more orderly, had been more lonely. As an unspoken rule, he had never minded isolation, but it was odd how much he appreciated having been sorted into Gryffindor, and having to deal with the boys he had once seen as his enemies. Truthfully, a part of him still saw Sirius as an enemy, but that would pass soon enough.

Suddenly, there was a soft sound coming from the corner of the room: it seemed like someone was clearing their throat. Severus looked over, his eyes settling on the source of the noise that had interrupted his thoughts, and he realized again that Peter Pettigrew was still among them. The boy was so quiet that it was uncommonly easy to forget that he existed; which only made him all the easier to deal with. Severus was tempted to roll his eyes as he saw Peter flinch, but did not, and turned his attention back to his tie.

"Hello there," said Remus quietly, and Severus could hear him rise from the floor. From the corner of his sight, he could see Remus pass him and stride towards Pettigrew, but he did not let his eyes follow Lupin. He was determined to pay as little attention to Peter as he could. "I'm Remus. And you are?"

There was a pause that hung uncomfortably in the air, but the rat finally answered. "Peter," he mumbled, "Peter Pettigrew."

"It's nice to meet you, Peter," said Remus, and Severus had to struggle not to snort. If only Remus knew of the future, if only he knew how Pettigrew had betrayed James and Lily to the Dark Lord, and if only he knew of how he had framed Sirius Black, this would be a far easier task. How was Severus meant to get rid of the potentially deadly pesk if Sirius, James, and Remus were all determined to befriend him?

"Nice to meet you, too." Mumbled Peter and Severus began to pay a little more attention to the conversation. Surely, seeing how Remus would try to continue the conversation would be amusing. Peter had the conversational skills of a small child; no doubt, it was because he had the brain of a small child. Remus paused, and it seemed that he was trying to find something to say. He was rescued by a gentle knock at the door. It was rapped three times; however, it was not urgent. Severus' curiosity piped up – the only people coming in here would be Sirius or James, and they would not have the need or patience to knock at the door.

Severus set his tie down as Remus left Peter and strode towards the door, and his dark eyes followed the handle as it twisted, and then looked to the opening to see who was waiting. There, standing in a thick, fluffy purple bathrobe was Lily Evans. Her pretty, dark red hair had been brushed, and braided for the night, and she looked to be rather tired. The noise of the din following her took a moment longer to catch up to his attention, as enthralled by Lily as he was.

"Severus," she said quietly, looking directly at him, those bright green eyes locking on intently. "Can I have a word?" Severus nodded, and walked quickly across the dorm towards her. She took the time she had to smile at Remus, say thank you quickly, and when Severus reached her, she left the room, and he shut the door behind them. The atrocious amount of noise was suddenly more apparent and looking frantically over the balcony, he saw the last thing he expected to see.

Half of the entire house was currently engaged in a battle not unlike the one Sirius and James had been in. Blankets, pillows, and cushions that had been stripped from chairs were either scattered around the room or flying through the air. At the heart of it all, the Prewett twins were roaring with laughter and bashing one another with pillows. He could make out the dark head of James Potter, busily running about the common room, pegging as many people as he could.

Severus could hardly believe his eyes. "What happened?" he asked her quietly, feeling agitation rising in him again. When he told Black and Potter to take it elsewhere, he had not intended them to start a full on battle. She laughed gently beside him, joining him at the railing.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that a fifth year burst into our room, asking us if we wanted to join the war. Only a few of the girls went," she said softly, "And I decided that I wanted to talk to you." It was not difficult to hear her voice over the din of screaming, yelling Gryffindors: somehow, he was able to block out their voices. He took in her voice, considering it from every angle, and he realized that she sounded rather…Firm, and questioning. Not judgmental, but considering judgment.

He felt ice sink into his gut.

"Severus," she said, "Why did you nearly attack that boy?" And then she turned to look at him, those lovely green eyes boring into his soul, and he could see that there was a slight blanche in her skin. It was not normally that pale, nor were her features ever that concerned. The corners of her lips were pulled back ever so slightly into a confused sort of half grimace, and her eyes were narrowed ever so slightly. He swallowed. He did not dare tell her the truth, but what else could he possibly say? How else could he explain this?

Severus could feel his redemption crumbling around him, and crashing through the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

_This turned out to be another lengthier chapter - sorry! _

* * *

><p>Severus swallowed, taking advantage of the pause it created to think. There was no excuse for his behavior other than the truth – but the truth was the very thing that he could not say. His dark eyes slid from Lily nervously, and he focused on the battle playing out before them. Gideon and Fabian were still leading the attack; there were nearly fifteen people on each side of the room, some constructing forts, while others simply charged into the thick of things and flung various articles of bedding. There were yells of joy, laughs of triumph, and calls of friendly accusation that rang out, and the noise only seemed to crescendo with his frantic thoughts.<p>

He looked back at Lily, and the concern on her face had only deepened, and now included apprehension. He remained silent, a thousand things racing through his panicked mind, and among those countless thoughts, there was not a single answer. Severus did his best to remember to breathe. Not even two hours into his redemption, he was destroying what little chance he did have. He had spent his entire life praying, wishing, longing to be given a second chance, and here it was, slipping through his grasp like fine-powered sand. All because of one, miniscule mistake. All because he had lost control for one crucial moment. Had serving as a double agent taught him nothing? Where had his ability to mask his emotions gone? Where had his self-control slipped away to when he needed it most?

Was this some sort of cruel joke?

Had it been a design of fate, one that intentionally gave him false hope before being flung into the depths of Hell? Perhaps it had been: as he considered this angle, he felt panic take him in a firm grasp. Before this, if he had simply been sent to Hell after he had met his end with Nagini, it would have been bearable, pleasant even, in comparison to this. To lose this second chance… He feared that it was only the beginning of his eternal nightmare. His emotions slipped beyond his control, and he began trembling, and his hand gripped the banister in an unbreakable vice. No, no, he could not lose this. Severus could not bear to lose Lily twice.

Memories of her death, and the anguish that accompanied it rushed through him, breaking him. He was going to lose her again. Tears began to prick at his eyes, and their warmth seemed to burn him. He swallowed, and struggled again for control, and yet, it would not come.

"Lily," he started, his voice breaking, "I…" What could he say? That in the future, Peter Pettigrew betrayed her and her husband to their deaths? And even if he dared voice the truth, she would not believe him. No, she would be angry, and grow resentful: she would believe that he was lying to her. A soft noise emitted from his lips as he choked back what could have become a silent sob, and still trembling, he could not gain any ground as he pushed against the sudden swell of emotion.

He took in a shuddering breath, and as hysteria threatened to overwhelm him, he could feel his knees grow weak. He had shouldered the burden of unimaginable guilt and a lifetime of suffering, all for nothing. The world felt as it if was crashing down around him, and he could nearly _feel_ the seams of reality rip as his dreams tumbled down the drain. Severus locked his elbows and keeping his hands firmly wrapped around the edge of the banister, he tried to keep from collapsing underneath the crushing weight of despair that felt as if it had ascended from Hell itself. And if he let it, surely, it would drag him down to eternal anguish with it.

There would be no saving grace for Severus Snape. His grace had died eighteen years ago, at his own hands. The Dark Lord had been correct: his love had not been enough to spare Lily Potter. Nor would it ever be. Beside him, he could feel Lily become tense; perhaps, seeing him in this state had pushed her beyond uncomfortable. She thought him to be weak. She believed him to be a coward. She_ knew_ that he had dark intentions when it came to Peter, and already, this was driving her away from him.

Had he learned nothing from his mistakes? Hardly an hour into the second chance he had been given, he had been so close to murdering Peter Pettigrew that the unfortunate woman who had borne that coward as son had rolled over in her grave! Again, he was doomed to a life of anguish and hopelessness. It had dawned upon him: this _was_ Hell. He would have to watch Lily Evans fall in love with James Potter again, yet this time it would be before his very eyes. And, if he had been able to retain control over his actions, things may have been different. Severus slammed his eyes shut as stark panic overwhelmed him, and his efforts to sedate his mind were to no avail.

The calculating, logical portion of his mind had been drowned out by the waves of emotion that enveloped him, and the absence of thought left him floundering, feeling rather like a Phoenix with a broken wing. He took in short, shallow breaths, and forced his mind through Occulemency exercises.

There was no way of clearing Lily Evans from his mind.

The roar of the common room below them seemed to swell suddenly: he could hear one of the Prewett twins bellowing something about a blood oath. He breathed again, forcing air in and out of his lungs, and still, Lily remained silent beside him. And she, still a child, would not comprehend the raw power of the emotion that he was experiencing: although he had placed again in his eleven year old body, his mind remained that of an adult who had seen nearly four decades of life. In all likelihood, it was only creating fear in her.

Severus knew that he was going to have to face her eventually.

Ever so slowly, he still ramming his mind through Occulemency practices in a feeble attempt to calm himself, Severus opened his eyes. They were greeted with the mock battle still raging below; with the joyful, lighthearted housemates he now shared a living space with. In Minerva's own words, they were his family at Hogwarts. And yet, he could not feel farther apart from them than he did now. He turned to face Lily, still gripping the banister so tightly that his knuckles had gone white with strain, and he finally managed to lock his knees back to where they should have been. His eyes tried to avoid her face of their own accord; instead, they chose to stare towards the wall behind her. Severus, willing them to be complaint, forced his eyes upon the countenance of Lily Evans.

And to his relief, to his overwhelming, consuming relief, there was not hatred, nor anger etched upon her features. There was only one emotion that could easily be discerned that shone in those brilliant green eyes: confusion. That didn't matter – none of it mattered. As if a light had appeared in the dingy dark, he again found hope and again found control. An answer appeared, and without second consideration, he grabbed at his redemption.

"Lily," he said softly, still looking at her, "I can't answer that." Curiosity blossomed across her visage, and he allowed himself to feel a sliver of satisfaction for the answer he had given her. It was the truth; and now, she could not wonder if he had lied to her. She looked as if she were about to voice a question and he cut her off before the words left her mouth: "You know that if I could, I would, Lily. I'd trust you with anything." Her mouth fell shut before any words could tumble across her lips; yet, her features were alight with a burning desire for knowledge.

"I'll tell you eventually," he promised. By the time it would be safe to do so, it was fully possible that she would have already forgotten the events of this evening. Perhaps it would never be safe to divulge the secrets of the double life he had once lived.

"Alright." she said, and although she sounded accepting, there was disappointment coloring the tone of her voice. Severus nodded his head appreciatively, but kept quiet: he was still trying to recover from the nightmare he had been trapped in only a moment before. Occulemency finally began to help, and as he pretended to watch the pillow war below, he was able to set his brain back to where it needed to be. Again, logic had taken reign over his actions, and emotions had been firmly locked away from the forefront of conscious thought. He would deal with those later this evening; while he was still shaken, he could not afford to fall into an episode like that again. Lily was still beside him, and out of the corner of his eye, he watched her drum her fingers against the polished oak that formed the banister. He had never appreciated her hands before, but as he watched her long, nimble fingers tap lightly against the dark wood, Severus felt the pace of his heart falter, and then quicken.

If this did prove to be Hell, he was going to enjoy every moment of it.

"Severus," she said quietly, still watching the raving madness that was unfolding before the fireplace, "Are you alright?" She tilted her head to the side as she asked him this, and he watched her eyes scan over his face. A warm sense of security rushed over him as she did so: it was tangible proof that she really did care. No, everything had not been lost, and there were still opportunities to amend the mistakes he had made. He forced himself to smile at her, and although it was a weak, shaky one, it was a semblance of reassurance all the same.

"Yes, I'm fi-"

"What is the meaning of this?" The commanding, stern voice of Minerva McGonnagal overpowered the roar of the battling students below. The room fell into an eerie silence immediately, and everyone turned to look towards the portrait hole. There stood the intimidating Head of House, and judging by her expression, she was in a very dark mood indeed. Every student in the room dropped their artillery immediately: pillows, blankets, and couch cushions fell to the floor silently. A single, solitary pillow soared across the room, as the attacker had thrown too early to have paused with the others. Severus' eyes followed the trajectory of the scarlet throw pillow, and he was pleased to see that it smacked Sirius Black directly on the back of his head.

Minerva's dark eyes swept over the scene before her, and Severus could only imagine the well concealed disappointment she felt. She hardly ever let her students see that – no, she only dared show them the hardened, stern, unyielding exterior. Each of the Gryffindors looked back at her, some meekly awaiting punishment, others trying their hardest to contain their imbecilic desire to laugh, and there were a few of the offenders who looked downright ashamed of their actions.

"Who started this?"

The question was greeted with silence. Severus was tempted momentarily to lay the blame on Potter and Black: but after what had happened this evening with Pettigrew, he dared not cross another one of his fellow Gryffindors. He had to gain their trust, and if he threw that to the wind, he could conceivably risk losing everything. He held his tongue, but a smirk did come to his face as the scene below them unfolded.

"Well," she snapped, "Unless someone steps forward, I will be forced to take fifty house points. From _each _of you." There was a hushed murmur that seemed to ripple through the students, and beside him, he could hear Lily let out a soft gasp of disbelief. Severus had never really cared about house competitions: they were petty, and were made purely for the legendary rivalry between Slazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor. As far as he knew, neither Ravenclaw nor Hufflepuff had taken the House Cup in several decades. He made no sound of dissent or approval; whether or not Potter and Black chose to step forward, there would still be points taken. "My patience is running thin. If someone does not step forward within the next ten seconds, the points will be deducted. There are twenty eight of you in this room: if the instigator chooses to remain silent, he or she will cost their house one thousand four hundred points."

There were never that many points to begin with: a loss like that would set Gryffindor back in the negatives for the entire year. The seconds crawled by. No one dared breathed; it seemed to be that every person in the common room was hoping that someone would step forward. Severus glowered down at the dark head of James Potter, and as cowardly as ever, he refused to take the consequences of his actions, and would shove the guilt of onto someone else. Sirius Black was no better – he stood near a demolished couch, fidgeting nervously. And then, finally, a voice broke the silence.

"I started it," said a fool. As the tall, redheaded boy stepped forward, Severus was slightly shocked to see that that one of the Prewett twins had vouched to take the blame for a pair of idiotic, reckless first years. Every head in the room swirled towards Gideon as he moved fluidly towards the Transfiguration Professor, and Fabian was quick to follow. Or perhaps it had been Fabian who had answered first, and it was Gideon who had chosen to follow. Either way, someone was taking responsibility that belonged to Potter and Black. He felt a slight flash of irritation, but he quickly stamped it out and sent it to the back of his mind; there was no more room for error in this evening.

"And what," she said coldly, "Possessed either of you to do such a thing?" Although he could not see their faces, Severus could nearly hear the cheeky smiles that would have been plastered on their lips. One of them shrugged.

"It seemed like the thing to do at the time." Answered the first twin. Minerva's glare deepened.

"Although, we never meant to wreck the common room," Said the second, as if he hoped that confessing that they had had good intentions would bring him less harm.

"Originally, it was just between Fabian and me," said the first twin, and Severus identified him as Gideon, "But before we knew it, loads of other people were joining in, and who were we to put a stop to all the fun?" Minerva glared at them both, icily for a few, long moments, and finally, she passed her verdict.

"One hundred points from Gryffindor," she said coldly, "Because the both of you should know how to conduct yourselves while at Hogwarts." Now, she turned her gaze away from the tall, gangly twins, and addressed her entire house.

"This common room will be exactly as it was before you arrived in ten minutes. Not a blanket, pillow, or cushion out of place. If you fail to have this room entirely clean in ten minutes, I will deduct twenty more points for every minute over." Every person in the room moved at once. There was a soft chatter as some students gathered up bedding and began hauling it up stairways, and others began setting the chairs at right, and soon, Severus and Lily found themselves pressed into the edge of the banister. There were several boys, all older than either of them, all filing into their respective dorms, and neither of the first years wished to be trampled in the elder boys' hurry.

"Do you suppose we should help?" whispered Lily, gazing over her shoulder down at the catastrophe below. Severus had no real desire to clean up a mess he had not created; it seemed like he had spent far too much of his time doing that for Dumbledore, and he was not keen on picking up the practice again any time in the near future. But thankfully, there was already an answer for him: physically, they could not help. The stairs were blocked entirely, and they only way they could plausibly descend down into the common room would be to shove their way through their fellow students.

"I don't think we can," he said softly, "How would we get down the stairs?"

"Mmm." said Lily, sounding slightly disappointed by the valid point that he had made. He knew as well as she did that pushing their way down the staircase would only slow the process of cleaning, and while Severus had no desire to help, he did not wish to hinder his housemates, as imbecilic as they were, in their efforts. "How am I going to get back to my dorm?"

Now that was a question that he did not have an answer to. He certainly had no intentions of closeting himself away with Remus and Pettigrew and leaving Lily alone on the landing. As unnecessary as it was, Severus felt entirely averse to leaving her alone, clothed only in a nightgown and a bathrobe, with all of these other male students. True, she was merely eleven, and his only real concern was Potter, but the instinct was there nonetheless. He could always invite her into his dorm, but earlier, Peter had seemed strangely attached to her. _No,_ he told himself firmly, _She is not some animal to be controlled, nor is she a prize to be won. Whether you like it or not, you do not own her._ He risked a glance at her, his eyes gliding across her sweet features, and he supposed that he could only offer her the choices he had offered himself.

"Well," he said in a low voice, "You can come with me into my dorm until they've finished cleaning, or, I can wait out here with you until the stairs are clear."

"I wouldn't mind going with you into your dorm, Sev," Lily said quietly, still keeping with the volume of the room around him, and yet, her voice seemed to be the loudest thing he had ever heard. Those words carried a meaning, one that he had been waiting nearly his entire life to hear. No, she did not want him to stay with her – Lily did not require him to follow her anywhere in return for her friendship, for her affection, for her _love,_ - no, she had said that she would follow him. That she wanted his company, just as he longed for hers. The sensible part of him gently reminded his conscious mind that he was blowing this entirely out of proportion; yet, it could not deny that the realization was a rather lovely one.

Silently, he strode away from the banister energetically, and wove his way between two older boys that were depositing bedding in their rooms. When he reached his door, he twisted the knob sharply, and pushed it open. Quickly, he ushered Lily inside, and once they were both in, he shut the door behind them. Peter was sitting on the edge of his bed; his fat little legs dangling as he slowly kicked his feet. Apparently, he had nothing better to do. He glanced up as they entered, and a tiny smile sprang to his lips as he saw Lily. Severus did his best to ignore that. Instead, he looked to Remus, who was currently curled up in the window seat, reading a rather thick textbook. He seemed to be rather engrossed in it: if he had noticed their arrival, he had not acknowledged it.

Severus strode towards his own bed with a wry smile on his lips, and he could not remember ever feeling so at peace. While earlier could have ended in disaster, it seemed that his frail luck was continuing to hold out. The prospect of gaining Lily's affection seemed an achievable goal again, and that was all he truly cared about. It was all that he had ever cared about.

He sat down on the edge of his own bed, sighed in content, and then realized that Lily had not followed him. He looked to the door, and saw that she was still standing there, rather awkwardly. He couldn't understand why – he had invited her in, after all. He waited a moment longer, and when she did not come, he resolved to move to her. Taking the two scarlet pillows from near his headboard, he slipped off of his bed, and then plopped the comfortable make-shift chairs in the middle of the floor.

"Take a seat," he said warmly, and patted the pillow next to his own with his palm. Lily seemed to be put slightly more at ease, and soon enough, she was sitting beside him. She was sitting quite modestly, her legs forming the shape of a pretzel, and she had situated her bathrobe to hide every inch of her of them. Only her ankles stuck out at the edges of the fuzzy purple fabric, and the bottoms of her feet were slightly red from standing barefooted. He smiled at her, and she was quick to return the gesture; sitting on the floor had definitely made her more comfortable.

"So," he began, "What do you think?" She laughed softly beside him, and his smile widened.

"Honestly, it looks exactly like my dorm, but I do like it," she said warmly, "I like _everything_ about Hogwarts." Severus took amusement in her enthusiasm, but it was entirely affectionate. After all, he had been telling her about the Wizarding world before her ninth birthday; more than three years of anticipation had been building in her, and by now, he was sure that it was at a bursting point.

"And your favorite parts?"

"The Great Hall," she said firmly, "Is by far, my favorite. Didn't you see the ceiling, Sev? It's gorgeous! It's even nicer than the sky outside. And then there were the candles – they were _floating._ And there were hundreds of them!"

"Yes," he said teasingly, "I saw." And as soon as the words had left his mouth, she was off again.

"And then there's the portraits! I mean, you told me that they moved, but you didn't mention that they spoke!" He laughed quietly, and she continued right on, her words coming out in an exhilarated rush, "And the staircases – they moved too! How do you keep from getting lost when the floor-plan is constantly changing?"

"I don't know, Lily," he said sincerely, "I don't know." Just as she opened her mouth to respond, the door flung open to reveal Sirius Black hauling a large amount of bedding in. Severus glanced up at him, slightly started by his sudden reappearance, and Sirius only smiled darkly down at him. He dumped the mistreated bedding rudely at Severus' feet, and part of the great wad nearly landed in Lily's lap. A stray impulse urged him to leap to his feet and demand that Sirius explain his behavior, but it was surprisingly easy to brush aside. Instead, he slowly got to his feet, and then offered Lily his hand. She hesitated for a mere moment, and as her soft hand slipped into his, Severus felt as if he were going to melt. There was a curious, warm sensation that fluttered in his chest, and he held onto the sensation for as long as it was possible. However, once Lily had gotten to her feet, and he had released her, the warmth fled him.

Severus realized how cold he felt without it.

"Hello, Sirius," he said, forcing himself into the present, "It was nice of you to bring back the bedding." He was careful to keep his tone polite as he addressed Black: with Lily as his witness, he would do everything in his power to remain as civil as he possibly could.

"Shut it, Snape," Sirius barked, "It's your fault it was out there in the first place." Clearly, Black was not very happy at all with the results his behavior had produced. After all, he had single handedly managed to lose his house one hundred points in a single evening. Just then, Potter came through the door, and dumped another great wad of scarlet bedding in the middle of the floor. The pillows that Lily and Severus had been sitting on had disappeared beneath the heap.

"Professor McGonnagal says she wants us out there again – apparently, she's got some sort of an announcement to make," He was looking at Sirius as he said this, and Black promptly rolled his eyes. If Severus were any judge, he'd say that Sirius had all the authority he could handle for a single evening. James then turned to Snape, as if he was checking that Severus had been able to hear him properly, and then, his eyes settled on Lily. "Oh, Lily," he said cordially, "What are you doing in here?"

"It doesn't –" and just as he had begun, Severus' voice was cut off by her own.

"Sev invited me in. I was just waiting for everyone to finish putting way the bedding. The stairways were so packed that it would have been impossible to get down."

"Ah." Said Potter, and his eyes seem to stay on the faint blush that had rose to Severus' cheeks a moment too long. "I see. Well, we'd best be going then." Sirius, muttering something unintelligible beneath his breath, stormed out of the room without a glance back. Severus caught James' eye, and the latter shrugged, then followed Black out through the door frame.

"Ladies first," Severus murmured as he let Lily pass him, and he was quick to follow her out the door. Peter Pettigrew trailed behind him, and he seemed to be frantic to get past him; surely, he was not as daft to believe that Severus was to attack him again. That had been resolved – at quite a high price – but as far as it seemed to Severus, Lily was unconcerned by the matter anymore, and if she allowed for it to be water under the bridge, he certainly would not deny it. The five trailed down the stairs quickly, and with little standing room left elsewhere, remained near the base of the staircase. No one seemed to notice that Remus was not among them.

Severus glanced around the room, and it was nearly impossible to tell that the common room had been a disaster only minutes before. It looked just as it had when he, Lily, and Peter had first entered it hardly a half an hour before. Within a few moments, his eyes settled on Minerva, who had taken up her traditional place by the portrait hole, and along with the rest of the common room, he waited in silence for her to begin. The firelight was reflecting strangely off of her emerald robes; her wide rimmed glasses seemed to be glowing orange in the dim lighting. Her hair was pulled back into a severe bun, as it always was, and although she was a great deal younger than she had been the last time that he had seen her, there was no denying that Minerva McGonnagal was a formidable witch indeed. With a stern glance, the Deputy Headmistress silenced a group of whispering girls, and then she cleared her throat.

"There was a very important piece of information that Headmaster Dumbledore forgot to mention this evening during the start of term speech," she spoke in a low voice: like he had been, Minerva always had a gift for keeping children silent. While she was not as intimidating as he had been, she was well respected. "In addition to the Forbidden Forest being entirely off limits, the grounds beside the west wing are now forbidden to all students." There were a few hushed statements of disbelief; apparently, those particular grounds had been popular. Minerva paused, and with a sweeping glare that encompassed her entire house at once, those who had spoken fell silent. "There has been a very dangerous tree planted there over the summer, in the interest of preserving a very rare species of magical tree. The Whomping Willow, is entirely off limits. If you are caught near this tree, and you are not immediately crushed to death, there will be-," here she paused, her sweeping gaze landing on Lily.

"Miss Evans, what are you doing over there?" Every face in the room turned towards Lily, and it was awkwardly apparent that she was standing between Severus and Sirius. Her face erupted into a brilliant shade of scarlet, and Severus felt color rising at his own cheeks. Sirius snickered, and Severus refrained from glaring at him. "You should be with your dorm mates, child, not with the boys in your year." Here, she sighed sharply, and continued in a tone that was considerably crisper, "I had assumed that you all would be mature enough to realize this, but I see that it is necessary to refresh your memories: ladies, you will kindly keep your own dormitories. Gentlemen, I expect the same from you. No exceptions. Now, Miss Evans, if you will join your dorm mates over there, I would greatly appreciate it." Lily's face became a deeper shade of red, and she nearly stumbled as she drew back from Severus.

"Sorry," he murmured softly after her, and she did not respond. Apprehension swelled up in him again, so familiar to him that it was sickening, and he could only hope that this did not create distance between them.

"As I was saying," continued Professor McGonnagal, "If you attempt to approach the tree, and if you are not immediately killed, there will be very serious consequences that you will face." She paused, allowing for the information to sink in, and then continued with her concluding statement. "That is all for this evening – everyone, off to bed."

Everyone in the common room seemed to move at once, each trying to reach the appropriate staircase. Severus moved along slowly, attempting to see over the heads of those taller than him, trying to catch sight of that dark red hair. Where had Lily gone? He continued looking for her, nearly frantically, until he reached the top of the boy's staircase, and he could only assume that she had already reached her dorm. Severus was one of the last to reach the landing, and he was the last first year to reach his dorm.

As he found his way towards his bed, he paused to pull up one of the pillows from the floor, and he grabbed the comforter he was lacking from the large pile of bedding that Potter and Black had deposited in the middle of the floor. Sirius was still muttering under his breath as he stripped from his robes into his pajamas, yet, the other three boys in the room were able to do the task silently. As Severus slipped on his overly-large sweat pants, and the baggy tee-shirt that his mother had thrown at him mere moments before they had left the house, he could not help but feel self-conscious. Peter, Sirius, and James each had pajamas that looked to be rather new, and they all seemed to fit them more comfortably. Sirius finally pulled his shirt over his head, and he looked oddly over at Severus.

"Nice pajamas, Snape." He said coolly, and then pulled himself into bed. Severus, as tempted as he was to return with a remark of his own, kept his own tongue under control. It would be worth it, one day. It had to be. As he settled his wand on his nightstand, the lights were turned out, and the four of them situated themselves in their beds. Severus turned onto his side, and looking at the window opposite of him, he could see that Remus was still sitting in the window sweat, still reading. For a moment, Severus considered saying something, but logic told him otherwise. If Remus had wanted their company, he would have joined them downstairs, or he would have attempted to start a conversation while the others were preparing for bed. No, he wished to be left alone.

Severus remained silent.

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><p><em>I hope that you enjoyed it! <em>


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